Friday, October 3, 2014

NO FILTER: glamour dolls makeup review

Kinda feels like overnight I forfeited my primary role as a fashion blogger and exchanged it for beauty guru instead! Glamour Dolls Makeup privileged me with the opportunity to try out some products and (as their slogan promises) make Barbie jealous. There are honestly only a couple cosmetic brands I trust for lipstick -- Makeup For Ever and Lime Crime. But after trying out Glamour Doll's lip creams and 'gloss snobs' I realize I can break up the monopoly and patronize another team of awesome artisans, too. These lipsticks and glosses are as opaque as paint! I'm used to the slimy, sheer bottled glosses you find at drugstores... and unhealthily familiar with the disappointment that immediately follows sliding a wand across your lips only to see a slightly pigmented residue staring back at you in the mirror. But I'm a beauty guru now, remember? I have standards!! Standards that demand trashing those filmy gobs for high-sheen, high-performance creams and glosses from Glamour Dolls

For every shade of lipstick, there's a top coat to match - either in a plastic tube or bottle. 

First I tried a pink lip cream called "Dolls Gone Wild." One word: accurate. I was ready to strip naked in this shade... and take exhibitionist selfies on my Las Vegas balcony. Love me a little matte sex appeal. 

"Dolls Gone Wild" was perfectly complemented by an opaque 'gloss snob' in a mauve shade called "Plastic Heart."

The second lip cream I tried is called "Juicy Melons" -- Jessica, the beaut who arranged this care package, specifically chose this pastel orange shade for me AND a coral lip gloss in "Wildflower" to match!

The third lip cream I tried is called "Karma." Expect to feel the wrath of her bitchier side with this purple shade because you can do NO GOOD looking this intimidating. Combined with the dark purple gloss snob in "Zombie Kiss," I felt more devilish than ever. Vixen is so the look for me. 

I also used the "Gypsy Duo Eyeliner" pencil for contrasting and experimented with a little glitter eyeliner. The silver is called "Kate" and the gold is called "Molly." You can guess which one I'll be wearing to my next rave amirite? ;)

So I have a lipstick, gloss, and eyeliner for every occasion -- parties, weddings, one-night-stands, selfie extravaganzas, you get the gist. Fulfills each of my beauty needs and leaves me with only one question: Barbie, can we at least still be friends?

Lip Cream: $2.99
Lip Gloss: $3.99
Gloss Snob: $1.99
Gypsy Eyeliner: $1.99
Glitter Liner: $1.99

This post is powered by Brandbacker. <3

Everything is infinite,


Wednesday, October 1, 2014


As y'all already know, my favorite online store has longtime been Swaychic. In the past couple years, they've been straight murdering it with their disgustingly on-point inventory. Scrolling through their new arrivals is a punishment to myself... everything is seductive. Everything is necessary. HELP. Naturally I had to throw it down with another collage of my FAVE NEW NEW in case you're also trying to get on that tip. Everything here is perfect for these fall-winter transitional months and can be dressed up or down to your likin'. P.S. Why are these models so hot? I questioned my sexuality for the entire 30 minutes it took me to make this collage, each time hovering my cursor with longing over pixels of gorgeous angel faces. Plz stop killing me Swaychic... in the famous words of Sway's (internet) famous PR rep @BOYTWEETSWORLDX, I simply cannot. But I can. Oh how I totally completely and utterly CAN. 

1. Hologram Boxy Tee, $29   |   2. Mesh Jogger Pants, $37   |   3. Plaid Romper, $32   |   4. Underground Cold Shoulder T-Shirt Dress, $47   |   5. Training Day Shorts, $34.50   |   6. Puppytooth Separate, $44   |   7. Gare Du Nord Denim Overalls, $44.50   |   8. Light Wash Denim Skort, $29.50

Everything is infinite,


Tuesday, September 30, 2014

billion dollar brows: tutorial and review

Anyone who's followed me and my blog for the past few years can testify that I've made several questionable makeup choices that turned into full blown phases... phases that were often the subject of derisive comments from beauty elitists and miscellaneous instagram haters. My eyebrows are a particularly contentious topic. I used to darken and enlarge them severely. Click on any link from December 2012 in my blog archive and you'll see EXACTLY what I'm talking about. People really don't like it when I challenge beauty standards by tremendously exaggerating features. They get angry (not realizing that such a corrosive attitude doesn't serve them) and harangue me about how I don't look attractive -- and isn't that the point of makeup?? To look attractive? In my opinion, absolutely NOT. Makeup is a tool for change, not standard rectification and reinforcement. But that's a conversation we can have privately on Today, I'm indulging the elitists and doing an eyebrow tutorial that (hopefully) fits right into the 'natural but improved' beauty principle. 

SO, if you're one of those people who'd rather look beautiful than weird and opinionated, you'll benefit from this brief course in ~eyebrow enhancement~ brought to you by Billion Dollar Brows. It's my first time working with a eyebrow kit and, as the haters will tell you, GOD KNOWS I NEED ONE. Not just an eyebrow kit, but an eyebrow makeover, an eyebrow paradigm shift. I need something, anything to save me from my self-imposed proportion crisis. 

Well, Billion Dollar Brows happens to be the Jesus Christ of kits for heathens like me. It saves. Here's how my 4-step baptism went down.

I started out like this. Naked brows in desperate need of reinvention.

First, I applied the "Brow Duo Highlighter" pencil above my brow bone. BROW BONE?? If it weren't for the pamphlet that came with this kit, I wouldn't have known that blending in a light matte cream accentuates the shape (especially arch) of my eyebrow. 

Second, I rubbed in the pencil marks with the smudge brush to keep it clean and cohesive. Noticeable highlighter and concealer is a no-no... everything about the eyebrow should appear effortless. 

Third, I used the brown mechanical "Universal Brow Pencil" to make hair-like strokes, just as the pamphlet advised. I didn't draw outside the lines as per usual and I tried to keep the coloring conservative. The crayon looks extremely realistic and doesn't just 'fill in the empty space' like the dark powdered shadow I formerly used. 

Next, the brush attached to the other end of the crayon smoothed out the rogue hairs and showcased the natural, youthful shape of my brows.

Finally, the clear brow gel. It looks like translucent mascara... and that's exactly what it is. Not only does it hold the brow hairs in place so I can maintain my look all day without having to worry about fading, it makes the entire eyebrow POP. The finished product is bold and firm.


And with a little extra glam... this is my final form. 

For such a transformative makeup kit, I'd expect to pay the big bucks. But Billion Dollar Brows is available at Kohl's for only 35 dollars, not the billion it's worth. $35 is an affordable price -- but not SO affordable (read: cheap) that you question the quality of the goods. Every tool I used, from the highlighter/concealer duo crayon to the brush tip for smoothing hairs, felt top notch and proved itself with top notch results. 

I hope this review/tutorial was illuminating for some of you! Surely many of my readers will wish that I had this makeover opportunity years ago... but better late than never. Pick up a pack of Billion Dollar Brows Best Sellers at Kohl's if you're still in your December 2012 phase. Take it from me... that shit saves.

Everything is infinite,


Monday, September 29, 2014

what a girl wants: sheinside fall shopping guide

Happy Monday, y'all! I originally wanted to debut my Billion Dollar Brows tutorial today, but I ran into some 'technical difficulties' and had to reschedule the post for tomorrow. Which is totes okay because it means I get to seduce you with collages of Sheinside's seasonal new arrivals instead! There are HUNDREDS, maybe even THOUSANDS of new products on the site, so I narrowed down my favorites and organized them into two sets for your viewing pleasure. Do something practical with your lust for shopping and, I don't know, actually buy something new and fun for autumn. Hope you like! 

1. Wine Red Crop Knit Sweater, $22   |   2. Green Plaid Midi Skirt, $16   |   3. Black & Gold Round Sunglasses, $13  
4. Camo Faux Fur Vest, $19   |   5. Gold Double Layered Bracelet, $5.60   |   6. Black Ankle Strap Heels, $30  

7. Vertical Striped Crop Blouse, $18   |   8. Vintage Ripped Denim Jeans, $22

1. Black & White Striped Loose Bomber Jacket, $30    |   2. Black Drawstring PU Leather Shorts, $15   |   3.  Gold Glitter Sparkle Pumps, $56  
4. Multicolor Striped Bomber Jacket, $28   |   5. Yellow Patent Leather Clutch, $11   |   6. Gold & Diamond Chain Link Bracelet, $6 
7. Black & Red Drawstring Slim Pants, $21   |   8. Leopard Ankle Strap Heels, $53   |   9. Black PU Leather Elasticized Shorts, $18   
10. Black & White Crop Knit Sweater, $18   |   11. Pastel Green Leopard Head Bag, $17

Everything is infinite,


Saturday, September 20, 2014

glamour kills day five: rock stud

I know the title "rock stud" has already been squatted by Valentino and respectively dispersed by upper echelon fashion bloggers, but how else can I describe my look? I'm a stud. Who rocks. I'm a rocker who wears studs. My pants are studded. My shirt is rockin'. I see no problem here. This top is identical to the mint mischief muscle tee I posted on day two -- but this time in a more slimming color (or lack thereof). Glamour Kills affords the opportunity to order two or three of any shirt in varying styles/colors/graphics and work it into your closet's staple section. So I got two tees, diff colors, diff days. Same hot rod rock stud. 

My pantalones are perfecto for a minimal black and white theme. Remember the Tantra faux leather shorts I blogged about last month in Plaid To The Bone? Well these bad boys are blood related -- they both hail from my favorite jeansmith Cult of Individuality. This pair is called the "Teaser Skinny" and retails for $150. That's the minimum I would spend on a pair of pants! Any less and you're dealing with some brokeback disposable denim. 

This outfit will propel me through September, October, November and onward... so long as I throw on some quality leather and maybe a pair of spiked earmuffs. You don't even want to know what kind of craziness exists in my fantasy winter collection. 

And with a resounding THANK YOU GLAMOUR KILLS I conclude this week of cute tops and summer-fall-winter transition wear! Tune back in on Monday for the new new.

Glamour Kills black mischief muscle tee, Cult of Individuality Teaser Skinny jeans in white, Missguided heels, ZeroUV sunnies

Everything is infinite,


Friday, September 19, 2014

glamour kills days four: bearly human

Depending on your definition, I may or may not be an actual human being... which makes this polyblend muscle tee terribly fitting. In the figurative sense. The way it physically fits isn't terrible at all, it's flattering and designed for desert heat and shows off my toned upper arms (holla new gym membership). But back to my main point: I'm only like 1% homosapien. I say this because all of my behaviors suggest that I am actually a sloth-bat-possum hybrid. Extremely lazy, live in a cave, play dead when intimidated. That kinda thing. So the graphic "bearly human" is suspiciously spot on.

Glamour Kills inspired me to channel my grunge goddess spirit animal (probably a bear) and pair this tee with faded denim and a plaid flannel. Like the good old days. And good new days to come. ^_^ 

Glamour Kills Bearly Human muscle tee, 80s Purple sunglasses, secondhand shorts and boots, Ralph Lauren plaid flannel

Everything is infinite,


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

glamour kills day three: flower metal

Floral prints and ripped-all-to-hell jeans are just the juxtaposish' I'm looking for. Today's outfit says "honor the abject with luxury." Huge holes at the knees of your secondhand acid bleached paint stained pants? Slip into a pair of heels. The raglan tee I'm sporting needs absolutely no sprucing -- it speaks for itself in the laidback language of softball practice. And reflective sunnies... to remind you of yourself while at eye level with me. 

One word for Glamour Kills day three: SLAY. Trying to do exactly that with these hair flips and poses. You can't see all the movement that goes into photographing an outfit like this. But trust me. It's a death metal dance party.

Glamour Kills floral baseball tee, Missguided heels, 80s Purple sunnies

Everything is infinite,